[a prologue] when you're broken and in despair, do you think about a self-deletion, a permanent one? when feelings of loneliness and guilt become unbearable, when you hit rock bottom, do you think about erasing yourself? well, elliot did.. spoilers: [for 4x7 too] [the main body] the first scene shows us a flashback with elliot and his father outside the movie theatre and elliot is mad at him for not admitting that he’s sick. before watching ‘proxy’ episode you might’ve thought that elliot was referring to his father’s physical condition, but unfortunately that’s not the case here. after finding out that edward was actually molesting him, this whole scene becomes so much more important and emotional. during their conversation edward collapses and dies, and elliot is completely indifferent about it and doesn’t try to help him at all. he took his jacket and went to a movie alone, there he started talking to an empty seat / imaginary person, and that’s definitely something that he’ll get used to. the next scene is set in the present: elliot began his process of deletion, then darlene came to check on him, since she was worried about his condition, and it was a right thing to do, since after a breakdown he tells her that he just need some time and he'll be okay, yet in his head he did already decide to actually give up. then elliot continues his process; he gives his dog to a neighbor for just "one day", throws away mr. robot's jacket, and then takes a whole pack of morphine from a drug dealer, who understood perfectly well that this pack is only for one thing - to end elliot's suffering. but before using it, elliot wanted to do something nice one last time, he decided to pay some respects to mobley’s brother, and trenton’s family. elliot found mobley’s brother and started a conversation with him, but it wasn’t a good idea, cause he told elliot that he’s sure mobley is a terrorist, and also the person, because of whom his career may come to an end soon, so this only added to elliot’s bad condition. afterwards he found trenton's family, who were preparing to leave america, since there's no more "room" for them in this country anymore. and as we know, elliot also feels like there’s no more “room” for him, but in the whole world as well, so this is one of the saddest parallels in the whole show for me. elliot and trenton’s dad spoke with each other a bit, and then elliot went to fulfill his final act of “deletion”. he comes to the beach, thinks there's no one around, and is about to use morphine, but at that moment, mohammed, trenton's little brother, comes up to him and inadvertently saves elliot with his presence, they start a conversation, and eventually elliot decides that he should take mohammed to his house, and this moment sets the beginning of elliot's journey in finding hope. on the way to mohammed's house, he only "irritated" elliot with his chatter and questions, since elliot had only one thing on his mind: how to quickly return to the beach and finish his process. they arrived, but mohammed's parents weren't home, so he told elliot to take him to the movies, and elliot agreed to it, even though he wasn't that happy about it. i think the main reason elliot agreed to it was because of seeing his young innocent self in mohammed. they came to the cinema and were thinking about which movie to choose, mohammed wanted to go to 'the martian', but elliot wanted to see 'back to the future', so in the end they chose it, then you can clearly see how elliot's mood improves a little bit, this is visible by his more relaxed behavior, and by the way he talks with interest about 'back to the future' film. while watching the movie, mohammed secretly ran away from him, and elliot chased after him, on the way he came across an ice cream truck driver, elliot told him to take him to two mosques nearby, knowing that mohammed would definitely be in one of them. on the way there, ‘war of the worlds' was on the radio, and elliot asked that man why he was listening to it, cause it's about the end of the world, but he replied that it's actually about how people were in a shitty situation in the beginning, but in the end overcame all the difficulties, and this whole thing perfectly parallels with elliot in this episode. elliot finds mohammed in one of the mosques, who decided to go there alone, thinking that elliot wouldn't come with him, since all he wanted is to get back to the beach as soon as possible and finish what he started. then mohammed asked him if it was really that important to him, elliot hesitated for a second, but said yes. – i wish you were dead! – so do i! here i think mohammed realized that all this time elliot was in a hurry to commit suicide. then mohammed confessed to elliot that he blames himself for his sister's death, yet elliot said that it's all his fault, which is unfortunately true. but the key thing in this scene is that elliot saw a little boy, who also has a lot of problems in his life, pain inside him, who can blame himself for his sister's death, yet still cope with these thoughts and condition through simple things, such as watching a movie, talking about his pain with someone that he trusts, or carefree conversations about everything; like how he could become a president & make everyone be nice to him, etc. & also realized that despite all the shit in this child's life, he doesn't give up, doesn't think about suicide, doesn't feel like absolutely everything in the world is bad or upsetting, and that even with pain he can still rejoice at something. i think that's the moment when elliot finally understood that suicide is not a way out for him, and that he can still be happy. their final scene together: elliot brought mohammed to his house, where he thanked elliot for taking him to the movies, and his sincere gratitude & innocence touched elliot so much that it brought him to tears. this scene honestly never fails to make me shed a tear. afterwards mohammed gives him a lollipop, and elliot promises to take him to the movies again someday, then they say goodbye. carefree communication, basic human interaction, and spending time with someone who's kind to you is exactly what elliot needed so damn much. this little boy saved elliot and inspired him to keep living, without even realizing that, and that's fucking beautiful. later, elliot visits mobley's brother again, and blackmails him into arranging a proper funeral for his brother. one of the coldest moments of elliot, in my opinion. and finally my favorite scene of the episode: elliot comes to angela, who's in a terrible state due to the recent catastrophic events and whiterose's manipulations, and tries to talk to her in order to improve her condition and help her get rid of the pain. and fortunately, he achieved that, thanks to his heart-warming 'remember when' monologue. in the end, by reason of human connection, two lives were pulled out of the darkness. ❤️‍🩹 [an epilogue] overcoming the pain that haunts you is one of the hardest tests in most people’s lives, some can’t cope with an unbearable loneliness and guilt & they delete themselves from the world, some have a lot of support and eventually they get better, and there’s elliot, who was so consumed by that pain, that he couldn’t understand the truth, that in fact he’s capable of overcoming it, capable of finding strength to live, even if it mostly happened due to mohammed’s purity and mere presence. mohammed’s innocence is what ultimately opened elliot’s eyes and inspired him to stay alive, and seeing that was such a cathartic experience for me, i was extremely delighted for elliot, plus it felt like i witnessed myself beating my desire for death again. cause there was a period in my life, when i was completely alone and broken, to the point that suicidal thoughts were something of a routine for me, so elliot’s pain and state of mind were very relatable for me, but just like him, thanks to one very important person, i got out from the pit of despair, found the strength to keep going, and realized that permanently “deleting” myself is not the right solution, and this is one of the key reasons why this episode touched me so deeply, and is so fucking important to me. i’m honestly thinking about putting this episode as my favorite of all time, due to personal reasons and experiences, but i have to think about it a bit more. with that being said, i’d love to add that ‘don’t delete me’ is not a typical episode of this show, with its crazy tension, complex plot & structure, or mind-blowing twists, it’s an episode about a human, who’s tired of everything and thinks the last thing that’s left for him to do is to “delete” his existence, but in the end realizes that he gotta keep living, even if it’s not easy at all. if you sometimes think about a permanent deletion, if it’s hard for you to see something good in life, if you can’t get rid of your mental scars and pain, then just let me tell you this: no matter what your situation is, there ARE people who need your presence, places where you CAN make a difference, and experiences that’ll remind you life IS worth living, so don’t give up, cause no matter what happens, we’ll be okay. 🙏🏻