Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today because a backstabbing little bitch got exactly what was coming to her. Chanel #2 literally never had my back. Whenever I wanted to strut across campus or down a long hallway with the other Chanels, she'd always be like "I have a colonic!" So, instead of strutting across campus in a beautiful diamond formation, we were forced to strut across campus in a triad formation like a bunch of hobos because #2 didn't think she should have to walk behind me. But whenever I'd find myself descending a staircase in heels, you can bet #2 was right there behind me with a helpful little nudge. This dumb, dead whore also used her high pony wiles to seduce my man into rubbing uglies with her. So I hope you all grasp the concept that this is what happens when you rub uglies with my man... you end up dead! So, have fun being dead, #2. You were a stupid, little trollop and I hope you're burning in hell right now. Amen.