YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS HATED ABOUT YOU, AMETHAR? YOU WERE SO DAMNED LUCKY. I MEAN, 5TH IN LINE FOR THE THRONE AND THE CROWN RESTS ON YOUR HEAD, AND EACH OF YOUR SISTERS BETTER AND MORE CLEVER THAN YOU. IT REALLY MAKES THE UNFORTUNATE MINOR LORD OF A LESS THAN WEALTHY BARONY FEEL A LITTLE UNDERWHELMING. WELL, I'LL SAY YOUR SISTERS WERE A LITTLE BIT LESS LUCKY. THE LEAST LUCKY THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ROCCOCOA WAS WHEN SHE FOUND THAT I WAS SELLING WEAPONS TO THE CERESIANS - THAT, THAT HAD TO BE DEALT WITH, AND I THINK YOU'LL REMEMBER HOW STRANGE IT WAS THAT SHE WAS FOUND RIDDLED WITH ARROWS SO FAR BEHIND OUR OWN LINES - BUT THAT'S WAR, AND STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. THE CERESIANS, I FIND ARE VERY REASONABLE, VERY REASONABLE AND YOU CAN SEE SOME OF THEIR TENTS OUT HERE IN THE FIELD. YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE LUCK SO I HAVE TO WORK. I HAVE TO WORK A LOT. FIRST, I HAD TO PUT THE LITTLE CHEESE BOY ONTO THE SCENT OF THE DUCHESS COLDBOTTLE, AND I HAD TO FERRY HIS IDIOT SAILORS ALL THE WAY THE SUCROSI ROAD TO THAT LITTLE FARMHOUSE - I MEAN, HAD TO GET THEM THERE SOMEHOW, THEY COULDN'T SAIL THERE, COULD THEY? AND THEY'D BE SO SUSPICIOUS WALKING UP THE ROAD, AND YET - YOU MIRACULOUSLY SURVIVED, WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED. AMETHAR THE UNFALLEN. YOU UNCHARACTERISTICALLY LEAVE A FIGHT, YOU JUMP OUT OF THE RING RATHER THAN TRYING TO BEHEAD THAT CARROT - AND THEY CALL THE TOURNAMENT, EVEN WITH ALL THE WORK THAT ME AND ALFREDI PUT IN TO GETTING THOSE WATERSTEEL DAGGERS INTO HER HANDS. I - I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FAIL. AND THEN, AND THEN YOUR FRIEND MANTA RAY JACK MENTIONED A GIRL, AT THE BANQUET, "STASHED SOMEWHERE IN THE DAIRY ISLANDS", AND I THOUGHT, "THAT'S SO INTERESTING. AMETHAR AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS, WAR BUDDIES AS FAR BACK AS WE CAN REMEMBER. WHY WOULD HE NEVER TELL ME?" AND I GOT TO THINKING, "AMETHAR WAS NEVER QUIET ABOUT HIS EXPLOITS AS A ROVING PRINCE OF CANDIA, SO WHY DIDN'T I HEAR ABOUT THIS GIRL?" AND I THOUGHT, "I'D BETTER TALK WITH MANTA RAY JACK." HE DIDN'T WANNA TALK, BUT A FEW FINGERS AND PINTS OF BLOOD LATER WE REMEMBERED YOUR SISTER'S BOOK. VERY USEFUL, YOUR SISTER. VERY USEFUL INDEED - UP UNTIL A YOUNG BELIZABETH BRASSICA ORDERED HER RUN DOWN IN THE STREETS BY VEGETANIAN KNIGHTS. THAT - THAT HURT, BECAUSE SHE HAD ALWAYS BEEN VERY SWEET TO ME. WELL, AFTER MANTA RAY, I SAW AN OPPORTUNITY. YOU KNOW, IT HURTS TO HAVE ALL OF YOUR PLANS FAIL, BUT THEY SAY THAT IMPROVISATION IS THE BETTER PART OF PLANNING, SO I WAS HAPPY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT OPPORTUNITY WHEN IT PRESENTED ITSELF, AMETHAR. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO A MAN WHEN HE DIES? HE SHITS HIMSELF. SO I'LL BE HAPPY TO WATCH YOU SHIT ONE LAST TIME, AMETHAR. I WONDER IF THEY'LL CALL YOU "AMETHAR THE UNFALLEN" AFTER THIS? HERE'S TO A FUTURE YOU CAN'T RUIN.

Specials

Fantasy High

Escape From The Bloodkeep

The Unsleeping City

Tiny Heist

A Crown of Candy

Pirates of Leviathan

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year

The Unsleeping City: Chapter 2

Mice & Murder

Misfits and Magic

The Seven

Shriek Week

A Starstruck Odyssey

Coffin Run

A Court of Fey & Flowers

Neverafter

The Ravening War

Dungeons and Drag Queens

Mentopolis

Burrow's End

Fantasy High: Junior Year

Never Stop Blowing Up

Misfits and Magic Season 2

Dungeons and Drag Queens Season 2

Titan Takedown