the real catch here is that if this happened in our universe I would’ve done the following:
1. defend suzie pickles on twitter
2. get harassed indefinitely for defending suzie pickles on twitter
3. tell cob to kill himself on twitter (but creatively so I wouldn’t get suspended)
4. get called hypocritical for complaining about my harassment while simultaneously harassing cob
5. tweet that suzie looks good bald, actually
6. get mad at everyone for being mean to suzie
7. reflect on what it’d be like to be a celebrity
8. question if the stupid ass shows like “dance crazee” are necessary for the mental health of C list celebrities
9. ponder on the mental health crisis/how we’ve commodified it but not made much progress toward necessary support
10. talk about number 8 and 9 in therapy for at least the next 3 weeks
11. never watch dance crazee again even though my mom would beg me to next season
12. tweet about how suzie’s friend naomi is hot 
13. celebrate christmas, probably 