to charlie, whom in his final moments was defined by nothing but a purity of heart in courage. i mean, if only to think what it would’ve meant to him to live his last seconds and die all by his ever-constant truth in a commitment to caring, after having followed such an arduous path to his truest lesson. in this closing of charlie’s lost as he breathed it, we saw the most beautiful study on what it had honestly meant to for him to live—to give every breath—in love. many lines of his these last two episodes have been touching, but the quiet little choice to leave his family ring to the baby, to his bones that was what charlie meant. it’s genuine stab of heartache to see him recognising it too, felt twice when given an easy, almost quiet, faith taken in desmond—so perfectly externalising into their story how it is felt in ourselves. i worry for charlie’s ‘des’, sweet as he is, when not only ourselves but he—with his impression only missing his cowl for all that he’s penitent, and for that which he couldn’t possibly save—witness as it settles in on charlie. plainly their relationship is beautiful, and as i’ve found it, quite fairly close to religious—though in the breadth of the word’s definition, given whom after all are charlie and desmond. though for all our of charlie’s upset with statuettes, and after seeing des lead a fairly choice path in his leaving monkhood (to set him into meeting pen, for that matter), i think it’s only the more notable how much love plays god here. as whilst for any semblance of peace a necessary comprehension and acceptance of mortality must be considered by each of us, for charlie we see it at a depth of scale painfully more complex. we sit with him for much of the season, noting how closely the sun is setting on him. it’s little less than that same heartache stab over again, knowing how the need to kill him here works so well, and is executed both to honour his growth in character and to mark something of such singular note within the narrative. to understand charlie in full you must first know forgiveness, something i didn’t much feel he himself ever quite entirely learnt, as few as of us do, but the lesson is ever-faithfully yet again in trying. he spent so much of his life, entirely through this very season even, with the good man he so much wanted to be—and metaphorically near beggared himself with humility coming into—at times all but lost to him. to see the cruelest extents to his pain as having been inflicted at insecurity’s seemingly mere hand, to recognise it as offering only a complete blindness to alternative. after we built our understanding of him on so much more of charlie’s childhood than most, i think he’s represented such a major note on that portion of healing. wrongly, i never knew to properly love him, though mostly as i would take issue with much unintentional turning to continue harmful patterns, and yet it was time and again that i found he would move me in the strength he would take with his realising and healing from them. to see the careful intention he and claire took with aaron, it’s a little more of what i’ve stated has been my takeaway from what has genuinely connected me with lost. bless it very much.